Selecting Your Attendants

How do you pick your bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Why is it that wedding planning always seems to bog down when it comes to planning out the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen to have in the ceremony? Even if a couple can agree on the number to have, how do you decide which people you should ask to be your attendants?

These questions have been asked by nearly every bride for the last 50 years (or at least as long as women have been planning their own weddings). While the question of who to have as your wedding attendants is a little harder to answer than the number you should have, both questions have fairly simple answers.

How Many Attendants Should You Have?

When it comes to the number of attendants that should be in your ceremony, there really is no “right” or “wrong” number. However, it is with a sigh of relief that most brides hear that there is a general rule of thumb regarding the number of attendants, and that it is based off of the size and formality of your wedding.

- Large and/or Formal Weddings (200+ guests). For large and/or formal weddings, it is generally accepted that between 6-10 bridesmaids and an equal number of groomsmen will be in the ceremony.

- Semi-Formal/Medium Sized Weddings (100-200 guests). For Semi-Formal and/or medium sized weddings the standard rule of thumb is between 1-6 bridesmaids and an equal number of groomsmen.

- Casual / Small Sized Weddings (under 100 guests). For Casual or small sized weddings having just a best man and maid of honor is acceptable, though 1-2 additional sets of attendants is not unheard of.

- Second Marriages. Normally for second marriages there are no attendants, though those with children may choose to have them as part of the ceremony.

How Do You Choose Your Attendants?

Deciding who to ask to be your bridesmaids or groomsmen can provide even more headaches, especially if you come from a large family or have a large number of close friends. Again, thankfully, tradition has a few thoughts on the matter.

- Selecting your maid of honor/best man. Selecting a maid of honor or best man is actually fairly simple. A best friend; someone special on whom you can depend is the traditional choice for a maid of honor or a best man. While many times it is a friend, you can also choose a brother, sister or even father or mother to fill these roles.

- Selecting your bridesmaids/groomsmen. Selecting your bridesmaids and/or groomsmen is a more difficult task, especially if you have a large number of friends or family. But traditionally choosing close friends or family members who are close to you is an acceptable way of choosing your bridesmaids or groomsmen.

While choosing the number of attendants and deciding who those attendants should be can be a sticky point in your wedding planning, hopefully knowing what the traditionally accepted numbers and choices are can help you in smoothing out the details of your big day.

About the author: Sarah Rigos is founder of the leading cash registry, Starlight Registry.