For much of history, the bride has been getting most of the attention and doing most of the work when it comes to wedding preparations. Now, with many Americans getting married later in life and gender roles becoming more flexible, more grooms are getting in on the action. If you're a couple that leaps over tall stereotypes in a single bound, the husband-to-be may already have started practicing his calligraphy and flower arrangements. For the rest of us, these are some suggestions for areas where the bride and groom can share in the wedding planning or the groom can take the lead.
Drafting a Budget: Planning your budget together is one of the most important steps to get your marriage off to a healthy start. You need to be able to talk about money openly and compromise successfully, especially if you tend to have different financial styles. Plus, debt can make it harder to begin your new life together so two heads are better than one for finding ways to economize. Make a line item budget and agree on spending limits. If the groom is financially savvy, he may want to look for the best deals on setting up a credit card and back account devoted exclusively to your wedding transactions.
Making a Guest List: Your guest list is one of the biggest factors in your budget. By taking a coordinated approach, you can help make sure you both feel like you're getting a voice in the matter and including the people you value most. Of course, you'll both be picking your attendants too and briefing them on the expectations.
Setting up Your Gift Registry: You both have a big stake in the gifts you receive so the groom needs to give his full input. Maybe you'll be more excited and knowledgeable about the kitchenware while he can weigh in on the electronics.
Negotiating Contracts: When you both find the venue you love, one of you can take the lead in negotiating the details of the contract. If your husband-to-be is more assertive than you, he may be able to knock the price down a bit. After he warms up, he can apply the same skills to the rest of the vendors you'll be working with.
Making Travel Arrangements: Some men seem to view travel as a competitive sport anyway when it comes to identifying what airline everyone is flying on and how long it takes them to drive from Atlanta to Tallahassee. A groom like that may be dying to take charge of the logistics for out of town guests.
Selecting the Entertainment: Other men shine on the creative side. Once you decide what kind of music you want, he can narrow down a list of finalists for you both to choose from.
Wedding preparations are more meaningful if both the bride and groom get fully involved. Be respectful of each other's opinions and work with your individual strengths whether you're adept at designing websites or fluent in composing toasts. Hopefully, you'll be working together as a team for many years to come, so use your wedding plans as an opportunity to practice collaborating.
About the author: Andrea Boley is a writer and blogger with www.storkie.com. She has been writing articles and blogging for over 10 years and is always happy to share her passion for life and experiences through her work. Her educational backgrounds in psychology and journalism have given her a solid foundation from which to draw experience and expertise in an array of topics.
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